I always thought independence was a "Good" thing....

....but apparently not everyone thinks that way, especially men who obviously feel threatened by women who are.  You know how many times I've been told by my boyfriend of 5 1/2 years, possibly soon-to-be EX, that I am just "TOO independent", "TOO self-sufficient", "don't need anyone", "do everything by myself", "answer to no one" and makes it out to be a totally BAD thing??  TOO MANY TIMES TO COUNT!!!  Which is more than I should have to listen to.  Personally, I think it's just jealousy, because he is STILL living with his parents and has ever since I met him all those years ago.   Yes, I am independent....extrememly so...and have been this way for a long time, even before I met him.  I've always had to take care of myself because the men I've been involved with have never been reliable and could barely take care of themselves much less me and my daughter.  I didn't want to have to depend on someone that would end up failing, leaving me and my daughter in the lurch, begging for help from parents or whoever.  I figured if I had my shit together, I wouldn't have to worry whether the man I was dating could take care of me or not.  And if things between us went south, then I would be okay, because I had been supporting myself the whole time and losing him wouldn't affect my living situation or standard of living in any way. 

I've always believed that the only person you can depend on 100% to take care of you is yourself.  Now, I know there are some men out there that are very dependable, who will take care of their families no matter what, even to the point of making sure they are all okay after a split up or divorce.  One such example is my Dad.  He did just that.  After he and my mother divorced, he made sure that I, my two brothers, and my mom were taken care of financially and never once griped about it.  Even to this day he would help any of us if we need it.  But he's one of the few in the world who are so dignified and responsible and who know how to be a true man, who is there for the people he loves no matter what has happened in the past.  If I had a man who had the same principles, the same dedication and commitment to those he loves, I wouldn't mind handing over the reins and allowing myself to depend on him.  Of course, I would always have a safety net somewhere JUST in case.  That's just how I am.  And how I will always be. 

Just because I am independent and self-reliant does NOT mean I don't "need" someone in my life as a partner.  I want to share life with a mate just as much as anyone else.  The fact that I can take care of myself shouldn't change that.  No, I don't need a man to pay my bills, mow my yard, change my oil.  But that doesn't mean I wouldn't enjoy it if I did have a man to do those things for me.  And I DO need a man for other things...companionship, sex, friendship, fixing the toilet (I don't know how to do that, nor do I want to learn), unlimited massages, father duties, and many other very important things...things that only a man could do for me. 

In my opinion, I think men should be happy that a woman can be independent.  At least they would know that she wouldn't be expecting him to take care of everything for her and support her (financially).  He should be thankful that he found a woman who is intelligent, industrious, ambitious, NOT lazy, who is dependable and knows how to live without the constant need of another person to do it for her.   

Whether I ever find a man who appreciates me for my independent strength or not, at least I know I'll be okay and life will go on.