9 posts from 2007

....but apparently not everyone thinks that way, especially men who obviously feel threatened by women who are.  You know how many times I've been told by my boyfriend of 5 1/2 years, possibly soon-to-be EX, that I am just "TOO independent", "TOO self-sufficient", "don't need anyone", "do everything by myself", "answer to no one" and makes it out to be a totally BAD thing??  TOO MANY TIMES TO COUNT!!!  Which is more than I should have to listen to.  Personally, I think it's just jealousy, because he is STILL living with his parents and has ever since I met him all those years ago.   Yes, I am independent....extrememly so...and have been this way for a long time, even before I met him.  I've always had to take care of myself because the men I've been involved with have never been reliable and could barely take care of themselves much less me and my daughter.  I didn't want to have to depend on someone that would end up failing, leaving me and my daughter in the lurch, begging for help from parents or whoever.  I figured if I had my shit together, I wouldn't have to worry whether the man I was dating could take care of me or not.  And if things between us went south, then I would be okay, because I had been supporting myself the whole time and losing him wouldn't affect my living situation or standard of living in any way. 

I've always believed that the only person you can depend on 100% to take care of you is yourself.  Now, I know there are some men out there that are very dependable, who will take care of their families no matter what, even to the point of making sure they are all okay after a split up or divorce.  One such example is my Dad.  He did just that.  After he and my mother divorced, he made sure that I, my two brothers, and my mom were taken care of financially and never once griped about it.  Even to this day he would help any of us if we need it.  But he's one of the few in the world who are so dignified and responsible and who know how to be a true man, who is there for the people he loves no matter what has happened in the past.  If I had a man who had the same principles, the same dedication and commitment to those he loves, I wouldn't mind handing over the reins and allowing myself to depend on him.  Of course, I would always have a safety net somewhere JUST in case.  That's just how I am.  And how I will always be. 

Just because I am independent and self-reliant does NOT mean I don't "need" someone in my life as a partner.  I want to share life with a mate just as much as anyone else.  The fact that I can take care of myself shouldn't change that.  No, I don't need a man to pay my bills, mow my yard, change my oil.  But that doesn't mean I wouldn't enjoy it if I did have a man to do those things for me.  And I DO need a man for other things...companionship, sex, friendship, fixing the toilet (I don't know how to do that, nor do I want to learn), unlimited massages, father duties, and many other very important things...things that only a man could do for me. 

In my opinion, I think men should be happy that a woman can be independent.  At least they would know that she wouldn't be expecting him to take care of everything for her and support her (financially).  He should be thankful that he found a woman who is intelligent, industrious, ambitious, NOT lazy, who is dependable and knows how to live without the constant need of another person to do it for her.   

Whether I ever find a man who appreciates me for my independent strength or not, at least I know I'll be okay and life will go on. 

Be delicious, eat mangos naked lick the juice off your arms.
Discover your own goodness.
Smile when you feel like it.
Be rare, eccentric and original.
Describe yourself as marvelous.
Paint your soul.
Investigate your dark places with a flashlight.
Make more mistakes.
Tell the truth faster.
Celebrate gorgeous friendships with women.
You are enough, you have enough, you do enough.

I have to give a big ol' "Thank you" to my wonderful KS friend, Heather Dannewitz, for introducing me to SARK.  This is the most enchanting, playful yet serious work I've seen and read in a long time.  I love the way her books are published, no typical font type but her OWN handwriting in different colors of ink, lots of little doodles and drawings and quotes throughout the pages, strikingly bold statements in large and small print alike to grab your attention and pull you in.  Her words are very inspiring and motivating.  Her ideas are fresh, original and clever.  They give you a very "ooey gooey warm happy" feeling inside your heart.  At least they did mine!  The presentation is very cheerful and colorful, but the messages are real, down-to-earth, and TRUE.  She taps into that place in all of us that tends to stay hidden away like a secret, the insecure, unsure, nervous place we have that we have no intention of sharing because we are either too ashamed or embarrassed or shy.  She uses her voice as a key to open up that closed room inside our souls and to help us release those "truths" about ourselves that have been stored away for so long, keeping the "real" person we are concealed and buried away.  She teaches us how to express ourselves FULLY and OPENLY on a regular basis to everyone in our life and shows us the importance of NOT repressing our thoughts because of the fear of rejection.  We are who we are and we should each be proud of that and tell the world...."Hey!  Here I am!  It's me!!  This is who I am and what I have to offer the world and it is enough!"  

I'm looking forward to reading all her books, as I was instantly hooked the second I opened the first page.  Actually, the cover of the book grabbed my attention and made me excited about opening the book and then BOOM!! I was entranced and sucked in.  :-)  This is a GOOD thing!  I recommend everyone...women and men...to read her stuff.  It's really phenomenal and intriguing.  Right now I am reading my first SARK book.  I know I should read Succulent Wild Woman  first before The Bodacious Book of Succulence: Daring to Live Your Succulent Wild Life!, since she wrote it first, but I decided to be ME and start on the one that shouted out to me the loudest upon initial examination.  And that would be the Bodacious one.

I've also bought the following books as well:

Before it's all said and done, I WILL have the entire collection.  I just bought Bodacious & Wild Woman last night at Hastings Books & Music and am already almost done with Bodacious.  The other six books I ordered today (you can find some good deals on eBay or buy Used on Amazon for a lot less $$.  The two I bought last night I paid full price which was a painful $16.00 each.  Ouch!  But I figure it's worth it.  I've spent much more on books in the past.  Most book lovers do, so it's not really a big deal.  However, I AM all for saving money on purchases any way I can.  Besides eBay and Amazon, Bookmooch is another good place to go for good trading deals.  I may try that later on today, if I have time. 

Once again, my thanks go out to you, Heather!  What a rare and exciting find!  Wish I could go to the book signing with you.  That would be so awesome!!  Unfortunately, I have....get this....JURY DUTY that day.  Paaahahaha!  Can you believe that?  Owell...maybe it'll be some cool, suspensful, mysterious murder trial or something, kinda like the Scott Peterson case several years ago.  Now THAT would be awesome!  Of course, knowing my luck, it'll be something stupid like accounting fraud or whatever.  If I'm lucky, they'll cancel it. 

But I would like to ask a HUGE favor from you.  Could I send you a copy of Fabulous Friendship Festival for you to get signed for me??  Have her write to Robyn in Texas and then something about reaching my dreams or something like that.  Please??  Since I can't be there, I would love to have a signed copy of one of her books.  Let me know and I'll get the book in the mail PRONTO so you'll have it by next Monday.

Signing off for now...will write more soon!

"We deserve to be caretakers for our spirits and dreams, and this means truly sensing and listening for our most alive route.  It may not be a common path, or a popular one, yet it will be clearly ours."  ~ SARK ~

Reheat Pizza
Heat up leftover pizza in a non-stick skillet on top of the stove, set heat
to med-low and heat till warm. This keeps the crust crispy. No soggy micro 
pizza. I saw this on the cooking channel and it really works.

Easy Deviled Eggs
Put cooked egg yolks in a zip lock bag. Seal, mash till they are all broken
up. Add remainder of ingredients, reseal, keep mashing it up mixing 
thoroughly, cut the tip of the baggy, squeeze mixture into egg. Just  throw bag away
when done easy clean up.

Expanding Frosting
When you buy a container of cake frosting from the store, whip it with your 
mixer for a few minutes. You can double it in size. You get to frost more
cake/cupcakes with the same amount. You also eat less sugar/calories per
serving.

Reheating Refrigerated Bread 
To warm biscuits, pancakes, or muffins that were refrigerated, place them
in a microwave with a cup of water. The increased moisture will keep the food
moist and help it reheat faster.

Newspaper Weeds Away
Start putting in your plants, work the nutrients in your soil. Wet
newspapers, put layers around the plants overlapping as you go, cover with mulch and
forget about weeds. Weeds will get through some gardening plastic, they will 
not get through wet newspapers.

Broken Glass
Use a dry cotton ball to pick up little broken glass pieces of glass- the
fibers catch ones you can't see!

No More Mosquitoes 
Place a dryer sheet in your pocket. It will keep the mosquitoes away.

Squirrel Away!
To keep squirrels from eating your plants sprinkle your plants with cayenne
pepper. The cayenne pepper doesn't hurt the plant and the squirrels won't 
come near it.

Easier  Thank You's
When you throw a bridal/baby shower, buy a pack of thank you cards for the
guest of honor. During the party, pass out the envelopes and have everyone 
put their address on one. When the bride/new mom sends the thank you's, they're
all addressed!

TO PROVE IT'S MINE!!!!!
If you purchase a new bike for your child, place their picture inside the 
handle bar before placing the grips on. If the bike is stolen and later
recovered, remove the grip and there is your proof who owns the bike.

Flexible Vacuum
To get something out of a heat register or under the fridge add an empty 
paper towel roll or empty gift wrap roll to your vacuum. It can be bent or
flattened to get in narrow openings.

Reducing  Static Cling
Pin a small safety pin to the seam of your slip and you will not have a 
clingy skirt or dress. Same thing works with slacks that cling when  wearing
panty hose. Place pin in seam of slacks and - voila - static is  gone.

Measuring Cups
Before  you pour sticky substances into a measuring cup, fill it with hot 
water.  Dump out the hot water, but don't dry the cup. Next, add your
ingredient, such as peanut butter, and watch how easily it comes right out.

Foggy Windshield?
Hate  foggy windshields? Buy a chalkboard eraser and keep it in the glove box 
of your car. When the windows fog, rub with the eraser! Works better than a
cloth!

Reopening Envelope
If you seal an envelope and then realize you forgot to include something
inside, just place your sealed envelope in the freezer for an hour or  two. It
unseals easily.

Conditioner
Use your hair conditioner to shave your legs. It's a lot cheaper than
shaving cream and leaves your legs really smooth. It's also a great way to use up
the conditioner you bought, but didn't like when you tried it in your hair.

Good-bye Fruit Flies
To get rid of pesky fruit flies, take a small glass fill it 1/2" with Apple
Cider Vinegar and 2 drops of dishwashing liquid, mix well. You will find
those flies drawn to the cup and gone forever! 

Get Rid of Ants
Put small piles of cornmeal where you see ants. They eat it, take it "home,"
& can't digest it so it kills them. It may take a week or so, especially If it
rains, but it works & you don't have the worry about pets or small children being
harmed!

Take Baby Powder To The Beach
Keep a small bottle of baby powder in your beach bag. When your ready to 
leave the beach, sprinkle yourself and kids with the powder and the sand  will
slide right off your skin.

This is a very cold time of the year (being that, yes, it is indeed full-blown winter) and our little neighborhood birds are struggling to stay warm and find food, which isn't very easy to do right now.  Poor things!  So, if you want to help out our little friends, you can make some really yummy treats for them that will keep them fat and happy.  I found these particular recipes in a newsletter from the Jerry Baker website.  He's the guy that makes lots of awesome concoctions for your yard and plants using household items like beer, soda, vinegar, tobacco, and a bunch of other weird things.  He also has some of the best recipes for making treats for birds and other animals.  You should check out his website if you like this sort of thing.   You can visit the site HERE. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Come One, Come All
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This high-fat, high-protein mix will appeal to every bird in your
yard, from the usual woodpeckers and chickadees to the occasional
robin or bluebird that's decided to stick around for the winter:

1 cup suet or chopped fat scraps
1-1/2 cups cornmeal (regular grind)

Put the suet or fat scraps in a deep bowl. Pour the cornmeal into the
bowl, and mix it thoroughly with the fat. Use your hands to firmly
pack the mix into your suet feeder.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Yo-De-Lay-Hee-Hoo!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Want to try something more unusual? Give your feeder an alpine accent
with this blend of muesli cereal, suet, and peanut butter:

1/2 cup lard
1/2 cup suet or chopped fat scraps
1/4 cup peanut butter
1 cup of muesli, any brand

Measure the lard, the suet or fat scraps, and the peanut butter into a
deep bowl. Use your hands to mix thoroughly. Pour in the muesli, and
combine it with the fats. Use your hands to work the cereal into the
fat, until it is thoroughly distributed. Form into a block to fit your
suet feeder.

And that's no lie!  Buying books to add to my myriads of other books is a neverending hobby.  At 99 years old (if I'm still breathing then), I'll still be buying glorious books.  It's a total A-D-D-I-C-T-I-O-N !!!  But at least it's a good addiction and it won't kill me. Soooo...I went to Hastings yesterday and bought a handful of new books.  They include the following:

• Savannah Breeze by Mary Kay Andrews ~ This one is actually an audio book.  Since I drive 20 miles to work and  20 miles back everyday, I figured I'd get some "reading" in during that space of empty time.  I used to listen to National Public Radio, which is always full of news around the world, most of which is depressing as hell, but I got tired of hearing how horrible things are everywhere on the planet and decided to fill my drive time with something more positive and fun.  I can't believe I hadn't thought of it sooner.  I'm loving it!  This book that I'm reading/listening to now is soooo good.  It's perfect for driving.  I'm really getting into it, even to the point of going out to my car and just sitting there with the CD player on listening to it.  If you've never bought audio books, you should.  I totally recommend it.  Especially when you are going on a long road trip.  Audio books make the trip seem to fly by.  One of my favorite audio books of all time is Stephen King's Delores Claiborne.  I've taken 6 - 8 hour road trips listening to this book and it seemed like I was only driving for 2 or 3 hours.  I would get so wrapped up in the story that I could hardly stop to take a bathroom break because I wanted to hear what was going to happen next.                                               

• Better Single Than Sorry: A No-Regrets Guide to Loving Yourself and Never Settling by Jen Schefft ~ Let me just say, it's always good to be prepared.
• Why Can't You Read My Mind? Overcoming the 9 Toxic Thought Patterns that Get in the Way of a Loving  Relationship by  Jeffrey Bernstein, Ph.D and Susan Magee ~ When I saw this book on the shelf, I was immediately interested.  I hadn't heard of this theory before.  It sounds extremely interesting.  And you know me, if I think it might help my current relationship, I'm all over it.  I'll share what these 9 toxic thought patterns are that they're talking about here in another blog.  Maybe it'll help other folks, too.

• What We Keep by Elizabeth Berg ~ I'm really excited about this particular book because it's one I haven't read by one of my favorite authors.  Every book that I've read by her has been fantastic and heartwarming.  I recommend any and all books by this author to everyone, especially women.
• The Bean Trees by Barbara Kingsolver ~  This is another book I'm dying to sink my teeth into as it is written by another one of my favorite authors of all time.  This woman has a remarkable way with words. 

• She also wrote The Poisonwood Bible which is about a family with 4 or 5 daughters who are missionaries in the African wilderness and their experiences, the good, the bad, and the really ugly.  Once you read this book, you will be hooked on anything written by her.  Trust me.
• Your Big Break by Johanna Edwards ~ This author has written several books from the perspective of a "larger" woman.  They are always a fun read.  She's another one of my fave's.
  

  Your Big Break

• Sassafras: The True Confessions of a Poodle Princess by Lynn Hirshfield and Dena Fishbein ~ This is an adorable book that Claudia picked out.  The colors and drawings are wonderful.  Any little girl would be lucky to have this book in her library.
• 

  Sassafras: The True Confessions of a Poodle Princess

So there you have it.  A spectacular group of books, both fiction and non-fiction, for adults and children.  I'm sure I'll have another new list of books that I've bought next week.  Yep, each week, I snag something new.  You would think that since I go through so many books so quickly that I would save my money and just get them from the library.  But I prefer to buy and own them and put them in my colorful library of books so that I can come back to them every few months (I re-read a lot of my books because they are so good or because I'm in the mood for a particular mental setting).  Also, I like to keep them so my friends can peruse and borrow them when they visit.  Hey, to each his/her own, right?

Happy Reading everyone! :-)

This morning I woke to a light blanket of snow covering everything in the neighborhood. It was beautiful, as snow always is, so white and pure and sparkling. It wasn't bad enough to cancel school or work, so I got ready for work as usual and took Claudia to school with no problems. Since I work in a town 20 miles away called Tuscola, I have a lot more ground to cover to get to my destination. I turned on my CD player where I had been listening to an audio book with inspirational life stories by Po Bronson (wonderful story teller) and headed out with my steaming cup of coffee in the cup holder and a lit cigarette in my left hand to help me wake up before my day at the office. About a quarter of the way to Tuscola I came upon one of the highway overpass bridges. I was driving 74 mph and it wasn't until I was just coming on to the bridge that I remembered I needed to slow down because bridges are notorious for collecting ice in these kinds of weather conditions. But I was too late. My Explorer immediately started swerving. I was having a very hard time getting in control of the vehicle because I had been going so fast and the force of the inertia across the ice was too much. My car began to spin. It spun around in a 360 degree turn THREE TIMES. During those spins, (1) I was about an inch from slamming into the left concrete median blockade which would have thrown my car over it and directly into oncoming traffic upside down, and (2) twice I came within an inch of flying over the overpass bridge and down to my death below. When my car stopped, it was completely turned around facing oncoming traffic. Cars and trucks had to swerve around me as I sat there shaking and chattering, my heart beating faster than it ever has. The whole time I was spinning I was trying to gain control of the spin by alternately turning the steering wheel and breaking/un-breaking. Each time I flew towards the edges of the highway, I felt death was on me. I just knew I was about to die. All I could think of was, "I don't want to leave my daughter without a mother." I was terrified. But I fought hard to control the spin and was barely lucky enough to catch it before flipping over the guard rail on my right and falling over the bridge onto the underpass traffic, which as you know is all concrete and steel. My car was about a half inch from the edge of the bridge when it stopped, cars flying by me, people looking through their windows at me with their mouths open wide and their eyes bulging from their heads in astonishment at what they had just seen. I sat there shaking uncontrollably, trying to catch my breath, just watching cars come towards me, and thinking, "I almost died. I almost died. I almost ended up in a terribly brutal wreck. I could be dead right now. Oh, God! Thank you for my life. Thank you thank you thank you." It was hard to let the thought that I could have died go. I sat there for about 5 minutes before I started my car up again and moved my car out of the road and back into the right direction. I grabbed my cell phone, dropped it, grabbed it again, dropped it again, grabbed it a third time and began dialing my office. I kept hitting the wrong buttons because my hands were shaking so bad, but I eventually was able to get through and tell my boss what had just happened. He could hear the intense fear in my quaking voice, my tears choking me to where he could barely understand what I was saying. He was very compassionate about the whole thing and, as is his way, used humor to make me feel better. I drove the rest of the way to work going 55 mph and creeping over any other bridges along the way. I have to say, this is the first time in all my 32 years of life that I've ever come so close to death by car wreck. (I almost died once before about 6 years ago from hemorrhaging caused by an ectopic, or tubal pregnancy, where I was rushed to the hospital hours before I would have died had I not went into emergency surgery, which is another story for another day.) Talk about my life flashing before my eyes! I can't believe how lucky I was to get through this experience unscathed. It was literally a miracle that I was able to make my car stop before being flung over the bridge. I can't stop thanking God for saving me. Claudia and I are sooo very close. She would be completely devastated if something bad like this would have taken me away from her. If I had been thrown over, it would have been a bloody, gory mess and I would hate her to find this out about her mother and sole caregiver. Maybe I'm over-reacting, but the heart-stopping fear that I experienced was sharp and it stung. It made me realize how fragile and precious our lives are and how easily they can be taken away from us in just seconds of calamity and unseen disaster. What is really messed up is that on my passenger seat sat a shiny new box with a software program used to make Legal Wills. Needless to say, I plan to get this done ASAP. If something fatal would have happened to me today, Claudia and all my possessions would have been in the hands of the State of Texas to do with as they pleased. I can never let this happen, so I've put this project on the top of my priority list. If you don't have a Will already, you might want to take care of that as soon as possible. It's important, especially for your family in the event that you die. Like I did, you can purchase software for this kind of thing or you can hire an attorney and spend over $1,000 to have them draw one up for you (I suggest the software route, which is definitely more affordable), or scribble out a general will on to a piece of notebook paper ("my house and all my belongings I leave to my spouse/son/daughter/charity/whatever") and have it notorized. I'll be doing a lot of thinking and contemplating on my life today (can you blame me??). I think that putting my life in perspective will make a huge difference in how I go about living it from now on.

Please always be careful when driving, especially on icy bridges.

Okay….now…just listen to me…I’ve got plenty to say but I’m not the most consistent person. I have such a crazy life that sometimes I’ll write a lot and then if things get a little TOO insane I tend to hide away and disappear for a while and you won’t hear a peep from me for however long it takes to get my bearings straight again. This is just how I am. Maybe it’s some type of coping mechanism or maybe it’s just an excuse. Who knows? But when I do blog, please, listen to me. Well, you can’t actually "listen" per se but you can verbalize my writings in your head and then choose to "hear" my message. Sometimes they will be inspiring, sometimes they will be motivating, sometimes they’ll be dramatically exciting. There will also be ones that are: very, very personal, some funny as hell, some very depressing (my life can get that way sometimes…but I think that’s true for everyone, right?), some will teach important lessons or answer questions you always wanted to know about, or there may be the ever faithful one word blog, which is usually a word that completely sums up my entire outlook or mood at the time. So have fun reading, listening, learning, whatever…and please leave as many comments as you want. I love to banter. Since I’ve only just begun this new blog, I don’t have all that much written so in the meantime feel free to check out all my photos. They are mostly of me and my daughter and a few others which I will try to get around to giving titles or mini-narration.

Did I mention that today is Monday? Yep. Monday. Truly a good day to start something.

Thanks for the invitation, Heather!

Robyn